Friends & Family

The disease of alcoholism/addiction does not play fair-it destroys the person abusing the substance as well as the family sitting by helpless to stop the process. Many families have experienced the frustration and despair of watching their loved one go to rehab, come home seemingly ready to stay sober, only to drink or use again. The cycle is tragic, and impacts not only the alcoholic/addict, but the family as well.

At ADAP, we understand the concept of the illness being a family disease. We also understand that even after rehab, there is a period of reconstruction ahead that requires guided assistance. With our 12 month monitoring program, the participant will get the support needed for lasting recovery, and the family will enjoy the support they need as well. We have learned that by assigning an individual Recovery Advocate to each participant, and customizing an individual recovery plan, the quality of communication between all parties increases greatly, reduces stressors and increases the chances for recovery and healing.

The Recovery Advocate will:

• Communicate regularly between the participant and the collateral contacts and/or family bringing objectivity and experience to the dynamic

• Remove the family from the role of monitoring or tracking the participant’s activities

• Assist in establishing open lines of communication and trust between the participant and the family

• Contact the participant on a regular basis and ensure that he or she is following his continuum of care plan

• Provide insurance against relapse and harm reduction in the case of relapse

• Provide guidance and support during the crucial first year of recovery

• Interrupt the dysfunctional family process and enabling of the participant

Alcoholism/Addiction: A Family Disease

There are behaviors that families of alcoholics develop that allow them to survive despite the ongoing crises of alcoholism. They develop their own ways of coping. While these methods allow them to survive, the problem of alcoholism is intensified. Normal problem-solving responses result in problem intensification. The normal reaction within any family to pain, crisis, and dysfunction of one member of the family is to reduce pain, ease crisis, and to assist the dysfunctional member in order to protect the family. The family’s behavior has a very immediate motivation: stabilization of the family.

These normal responses to problems and crises allow the alcoholic to escape the painful consequences of drinking. Pain is nature’s way of teaching us that illness is present and help is needed. The alcoholic, thus deprived of painful learning experiences, is also deprived of the opportunity to experience the awareness of alcohol as the problem in his or her life.

As the normal means of coping fail to work for the family, more effort is exerted. Family members begin to doubt their own value. After all, they feel they have failed in the role of wife, husband, or parent. They try harder. They take on the responsibilities of the alcoholic, not realizing that this enables the alcoholic’s irresponsibility.

The family experiences frustration, anxiety, guilt, and self-pity. These are normal results of repeated failure. The family does what they do out of a sincere desire to help the alcoholic and to maintain the family. As the things they do, in a sincere desire to help, don’t help, as their best efforts fail and tend to make things worse, the family begins to develop it’s own sick reactions and responses to the disease process of alcoholism. They have tried all that their religion, society, and culture has taught them. It doesn’t work and the resulting despair and guilt brings about confusion and chaos. Since the alcoholic must be viewed as a victim of a disease, so must the characteristics of the concerned persons be viewed as a reaction to the progressive stress of the disease.

At this point, the family members may recognize that they need help. But nothing will help until they learn new ways to cope, until they learn some new ways of responding to alcoholism that can interrupt the dysfunctional process that is occurring. Recognizing the need for help is the first step. There are three things that have to happen before a dysfunctional family can become functional:

1. They must recognize that they have been dysfunctional.
2. They must have hope that things can be different.
3. They must take action to start the change process.

We at Addiction Directions believe that in order for your Loved One to recover from their alcoholism/addiction, the family must engage in their own recovery as well.

Remember, NO ENABLING = NO ADDICTION.